If you didn’t read last week’s post about getting bullied, you may want to go check that out
before you read on.
Maybe you read last week’s post and it felt familiar to you, but not from the side of being bullied. Maybe you are the one bullying and you never realized it until something in my last post resonated with you. Let me just take a second to say, I’m really glad you are here and reading this. I know you love your family and friends and you only want the best for them. I want to help you be a better support for them. Ultimately, that’s why we are here, right? To support one another.
Maybe you realized you make comments about someone’s food. Maybe you pressure people into eating the food you make or you know your friend eats a certain way or tries to eat healthy and you continuously ask them to meet you at a place that is not supportive of the lifestyle they are living. It doesn’t matter what your specific situation is, you probably never thought of yourself as a bully. Think about it though. Even making little jokes or regularly pointing things out that are different about the way someone eats is a form of bullying. Think about what your end goal is when you talk about the way someone eats or try and pressure someone into eating something.
Why is it important for your loved one to eat something you offer them? Why do you feel like you need to talk about, judge or criticize someone elses eating habits? Could it be one of the following?
- Fear. Being afraid that the changes someone is making in their lifestyle will threaten the comfortable relationship and familiar habits you have together as you know it.
- Feeling of rejection. Maybe the way that you show love is through feeding your loved ones and when they don’t accept or partake in enjoying the food that you have created for them it feels like rejection.
- You may believe in the nutrition you provide very deeply. Understand that they do too. What works for one isn’t necessarily going to work for another. Respect that.
- Maybe you are jealous. It sounds like a terrible possibility, but, jealously isn’t all that far fetched. Maybe you struggle with eating and it seems easy for them to make healthy eating a priority. Maybe they have lost weight. Maybe you don’t know how to eat well. Why not ask them how they do it? I guarantee you that it isn’t easy peasy especially when they are judged, criticized or pressured.
Whatever the reason, it isn’t beneficial for either of you to continue this way. I can say that from experience, there are some people that I have had to make a choice not to spend as much time with. I can also tell you that it’s no fun for you either. It won’t serve any purpose.
You may not really even be aware of the things you do and say. Pay attention next time you have a “health nut” in the house.
I’d love to hear about your experience with this from either side. Share with me.