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Who are you listening to?

What in the world does it mean to have a best body?

I was in Target this afternoon and saw Us Magazine’s cover this week. It has Jennifer Lopez on it and the title is Best Bodies.

It struck me. What the hell does that even mean? How many women and young girls see that cover, compare themselves and then dismiss their body as less than?

How many guys see that and a million other covers over the years and compare the women in the real world?

I realize this sells magazines. But, here’s the deal.

They are strictly talking about looks, so, call that shit out. Looks aren’t the only aspect of what makes a body awesome. And who the hell are they to tell me what body looks best? How many people believe them?

Think for a minute about who the people are that are telling us who’s hot and who’s not. They are getting paid a whole bunch of money to figure out how to use our insecurities to make us “need” to buy stuff.

It’s simple really. They get us to think we need things by making us feel like we are not enough.

If we all felt secure in our own skin, it wouldn’t be good for a lot of industries. In fact, marketing to us would have to take on a whole new approach. The more confident and secure I am in myself, the less money I spend. When I am confident and secure, I don’t need anything outside of myself to feel good. I don’t feel like I need to fix things. Media doesn’t get to me.

I know that if I feel like something needs fixing, it isn’t about spending money.

You don’t need a magazine to tell you who has the best body. YOU have the best body. So do I.

I am not always in love with how every part of my body looks, but, that isn’t all a body has to offer. Ironically, when you honor it for all it has to offer, it looks better too.

My body is constantly working to correct itself. Even when I am not nice to it.

My body takes me places even when it is screaming for rest. It deals with what I give it.

My body constantly looks for balance and has systems to keep brining me back to balance all while dealing with chronic illness. Your body is doing the same thing even if you don’t have a chronic illness.

You know the things you do to treat your body poorly. Guess what? It’s so forgiving that it works to counteract your carelessness. It is working to counteract the environment. It is built to live. You cannot live while comparing yourself to bodies on magazines.

I encourage you to honor your body for being the best body you will ever have.

If you are sick and tired of the rules of how to look and what you need to do to get there sign up for the Unruly Rules for looking good, feeling great and living happy. It’s free and you can sign up below. No BS. Just simplicity.

Keep the conversation going. Comment below.


The Gift of Body Hatred

I have had chronic pain almost my entire life. It started between the ages of 12 and 13. It has been over 30 years.

I was sexually assaulted the first time when I was between four and five years old. I went on to be sexually assaulted multiple times as a young teen and as an adult I was assaulted by an acupuncturist after he had all the needles in place. I trusted him and believed he could heal me. In fact, I trusted each person who assaulted me.

Being that there are other women in my life, I can say that I grew up hearing lots of so-called “harmless” body judgement. It’s just the way life was. It’s just what women did. It wasn’t unusual to watch the Miss America pageant with my cousins while judging the contestants bodies, hair, clothes and makeup. We were pretty skinny kids back then. It wasn’t long before I was saying the same judgmental things that we would say about the beauty contestants to myself. I was comparing my worst to the beauty contestant’s best. A best that we picked a part looking for flaws.

It’s not surprising that I grew to hate my body. From such a young age my body caused me mental and physical pain. I blamed my body for my assaults. I grew to a point I blamed my entire being for my physical illness and pain. I thought I deserved it. All of it. The assaults. The incurable disease. The pain. The struggle.

So why in the world would I see this as a gift?

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Happy No-resolution New Year’s

If you have been following for any amount of time, you know I can’t stand new year’s resolutions. I won’t get into why other than that they don’t work and they generally make people feel bad about themselves pretty quickly.

What I do believe in is looking back on the year and reflecting on what went right and what you have accomplished. Spend some time with the things that make you feel good about yourself. Then, what didn’t go so well? What mistakes did you make? What lessons did you learn from them? Is there some area of your life that you keep getting in your own way? If you aren’t sure, is there an area that you keep making the same mistakes or you just feel stuck? This is a good area to enlist help in. Do that in 2015.

I don’t think this should only happen annually, though. Especially if you have a vision you are working toward. I like to check in with myself on Sundays before I start the week. How I did the week before is my key to what needs attention the next week. Keep it simple and shut the critical voices in your head up while you are doing it. Don’t let them have a say in what your next week is going to be like.

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What happens to workouts when you get sick?

That time of year is upon us. “Flu Shots Here” signs on every corner. The woman in the next cubicle is hacking and coughing. You sit down for the evening when you get home from work and realize…you feel off. What is it and is it going to wreck all the progress you’ve made with your fitness?

I decided to write this blog because scratchy throats, runny noses, coughing, and a general off feeling have been plaguing some of my clients recently and it brought some very important things to my attention.

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30 Things About my Invisible Illness

In some of my earlier blogs, I have alluded to having a chronic progressive illness and I had promised to write more about that at a later date. To be honest, I have been avoiding it. It’s sort of hypocritical of me, because I talk about how important authenticity is, yet, I find myself a little scared when it comes to sharing this with you. I read plenty of blogs of women who suffer with the same disease as me. The truth is I find myself feeling sorry for them and that’s the last thing I ever want is for someone to feel sorry for me.

I recently ran across this campaign to raise awareness of invisible illnesses which I think is a great idea. Then I found their 30 Things post and figured that participating in it was probably the best way for me to share right now. So, here you find me answering their 30 prompts about my illness. I hope this helps other people who like to suffer quietly and unnoticed.

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On the agenda for today. Clean and study. Since I love cleaning and studying so much I came up with a plan .... Alternate an hour of each with a 10 min exercise break in between. Tell me you've got something better on your agenda today. ... See MoreSee Less

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